Kadingilan, Bukidnon — What was meant to be a respectful and heartfelt pamalayi visit turned into an emotional ordeal for a family from Barangay Sinuda, Kitaotao, Bukidnon, after the household they intended to visit in Barangay Sibunga was allegedly nowhere to be found—having reportedly left or hidden to avoid meeting them.
The family traveled a long distance on Saturday, November 29, 2025, bringing food and goods as part of the tradition. But upon arriving at the home of the young woman’s family, they were surprised to find no one there. According to their account, the household had left moments before their arrival, allegedly to avoid the visiting group, leaving them embarrassed, confused, and disheartened.
The incident surfaced online through a now-viral post by “Walay Grado Vlog,” which stated:
“Namalay nga wala damha nga ge sobatan sa tagbalay. 😭 Layo ra ba jud — Brgy. Sinuda, Kitaotao, Bukidnon to Brgy. Sibunga, Kadingilan, Bukidnon.”
Although the post did not identify the people involved, the content creator expressed deep disappointment over how the visit ended.
As of this writing, the video has gained more than 100,000 views, over 3,000 reactions, 400 comments, and continues to spread across social media platforms. Online users have expressed sympathy, frustration, and curiosity—some calling the incident humiliating, while others urged caution until the other family presents its side.
Concerns of discrimination raised
A member of the visiting family hinted in a Facebook post that they felt avoided because they belong to an Indigenous tribe in Bukidnon, suggesting that discrimination may have played a role. The sentiment sparked broader online discussions on cultural respect, equality, and the challenges faced by tribal communities in traditional practices.
They also appealed to the public not to rush to judgment, saying that the full story has not yet been heard from all sides.
The cultural value of ‘pamalayi’
Pamalayi remains a significant Filipino courtship ritual, especially in Visayas and Mindanao. It traditionally involves the suitor’s family visiting the woman’s family to formally express intent for marriage. Bringing food or small gifts is customary, symbolizing goodwill and the desire to build ties between families.
While modern relationships have shifted away from elaborate traditions, many rural and Indigenous communities still hold pamalayi in high regard.
A viral incident stirring public conversations
The incident has ignited discussions online about respect, cultural sensitivity, and changing norms in courtship. Many have expressed sympathy for the visiting family, noting the long travel, preparations, and emotional investment that ended in disappointment. Others remind the public to avoid condemning the other party until their explanation is known.
So far, no official statements have been issued by the woman’s family or local authorities regarding what truly transpired.